Looks aren't Everthing

I hate the fact that this whole time, this whole freakin time I sincerely thought that looks were important, and for me it made things worse because I thought i was ugly, well not ugly but not pretty enough. I mean I am like the most insecure person I know, and that makes me feel like dirt but that's life you know. My point is, looks aren't everything, like take for instance the guy of my dreams, someone i have liked since i was a kid, is dating this chic that's not as, lets say not as good looking as him, or as good looking as he can get. And finding this information out made me feel sad, annoyed, upset, almost close to depressed. This whole time I thought if I looked good, he would notice me, if i was attractive he would want me, or maybe I would look as pretty as those girls he has dated or his friends. But now I don't know what to think or how to feel, I mean I know there's somebody for everybody but I really believed with all my heart he was the one for me. Now what, now since I'm a christian i have to wait for God to send me someone, like I'm inpatient and these are the facts. Not only that but I have so many other issues in my life, and I thought with someone by my side I could handle them. But I guess I don't need a man I only need God.

I wrote this post last week and didn't post it or edit it, its been a week and i realized that I didn't like him as much as i thought because I'm over it. It just funny how you can trust emotions at all, they fool and mislead you all the time. Now I feel like I wanna be single and I wanna do thing by myself, ugly or not. I feel if i get a guy and that's if, he has to like me for me, all of me and my insecurities. I am who I am, and look how I do for a reason. ex.There is this lady in church and she isn't as good looking but her husband is gorgeous and so are the kids, and with my human eye i wonder how did he fall for her, and then I look at the facts, she is intelligent, funny, and as down to earth as they come. Then it hit me, the older I get the more I realize LOOKS AREN'T EVERYTHING, and when you realize that you stop trying as hard and you live and let God. So from now on I'm going to just live, if there is a guy for me he will be there when he is suppose to, in the mean time I'm deffinately gonna just do me.