Response...OK, what tha!!!

Situation...say you have a boyfriend/girlfriend and your trying to work on your relationship, tryna basically take it to the next level and see where it can go, but their are a few speed bumps that you wanna fix before you can get there. So you confide in your mate the issues and struggles you have with certain moves or actions your partner makes in certain situations and your partner reply is...ok...OK. So my big question really is what the hell is OK, is that an answer to a question which clearly needs a few more words with syllables, and nouns. So I looked it up OK- an approval, agreement and endorsement,- all right, well enough, successfully fine. So then I thought hmmm, now that doesn't seem like the appropriate answer to a question that didn't end with a is, did, they, or starts with ok...ect
This word should be blasphemy, the only time you should use ok is when you get a direct order and you comply to accept and complete it. Am I wrong for going in, I mean isn't this a fact, I've honestly seen, used and heard people us OK as a way to shut down the other person when in a argument, or debate. Especially is your debating someone like me, who loves to not only get her point across but wants to make you understand it too. So once you say ok, I'm ok did you get it, or ok just to shut me up, and then you get frustrated. So imagine you in a heated disagreement with your mate and either of you say ok, either one will get tight, granted if their is feelings are involved. Now you might be reading and think, what if the person actually understood what was said and said ok because so and actually did change, now I find that in the human brain and I am no doctor, BUT I find that in order to completely understand what one is trying to say you must repeat it in your own words out loud so you hear it and fully understand it, now you may think you don't have to say it aloud but you do, your sub conscious picks up things that your brain doesn't, and it makes you recall better when you hear things aloud. Once you repeat what your partner has said and in your owns words, you reassure your partner that you understood, and its up to you to change. But its better to change something you understood than saying ok just to shut the other person, don't understand, don't change and waste each others time.
So next time don't just say OK, listen to your partner, hear them out, give them time to speak then chime in. Listen, Hear, compromise, learn, and change. If your having trouble in this area practice this with your parents, listen to them, hear them out, compromise, learn from your mistakes and change. This will only better your relationship and save you from eternal loneliness

Contented.​..a writers blog!!

As I read my old works, works I have written and never published, works of me being depressed and oppressed by the feeling of not being in the company of love from a man, I feel myself feeling sorry for myself, as you have when you read my stories. See this is the real me, and I have been through it, and as a female we tend to take the life out of things and make them even more emotional than they should be, no discounting my feelings at that very moment in time, but damm I was a wreck. NOW in my personal life I feel completely different. I am happy and contented with my life and how everything is going, I finally realized that I have a deep passion for writing and psychology and I am pursuing those dreams in school. But most importantly I realized that the most important relationship I need to have is with God. I stopped putting my faith in man and gave it all to God. I have grown so much in my life and have went through so many experiences you can even begin to imagine, I'm young but I'm surely not dumb, I have more street smarts than any other person I know, and trust when your traveling from a party at 4 am on the 6 train coming from the bronx with a bunch of mexicans and random blacks tryna make it home before my parent get up so they could think I've been home the whole time and live deep in queens, like very close to LI, you pick up on a few things. I was never afraid nor was I alone, but @ the point I never knew how blessed I was. God never let me out his site and protected me every step on the way, so when I tell you that God is the greatest love you will and shall ever need I deff know what I'm talking about. So this is just beginning, I'm going to turn my stories and experiences into a book and it will be nice if you follow me on this journey, I have poems, stories, dreams and nightmare that I will love to share with you, im letting you enter my head, ( damm i should be getting paid for this). You never know we may have a lot more in common than you think, and this apply's to all my readers...so thank you for reading, and supportting me...

Also, I know I write a lot, and im sorry I can't help it, the funny thing is, what you take more than a half an hour to read I write in 15 min lol, (sorry had to throw that in there lol). I heart you guys...
                            Simply a

Kiddy Love

Love




To the one that I so greatly care for, when I see your face my heart fills

with joy because I know your the one for me, I wanna be with you day in and day

out. I love spending time with you and being in your presence, I love

you...I love your dreads and how long they are, I love how patience and kind

you are with me when I get angry or annoyed. I love the way you deal with

me, you have this way of making me feel complete without even trying. I

have been searching a long time for someone like you, I cant even describe

to you the way my heart feels, when I'm not with you I feen to be with you and

see you, I don't know how this job thing is gonna pan out because every

time I think of not being able to see u on a day to day basis kills me

inside. In the beginning I could have never expected to feel this way, I

haven't felt this way about anyone but you, you are my first true love and

hopefully my last. I know when I say I wanna marry you and have your kids you

think I'm joking but I'm so serious. I would do anything for you, if I could

give you the world I would. I know your feelings aren't as strong as mine and

I know I'm giving u all my power because I love you and I don't care about

the game or the rules I love you I know this because my heart yearns for

you, these feelings I have are real and true I tear up when I think about

how I feel for you. Ishmael I love you so much and I hope in your

heart you feel the same way too, in fact I'm gonna hold out and try not to tell

you how I feel but just know on June 16th I fell hard for u and that will

be the day I remember till I die. June 1st we staring dating and we have

been speaking for two months and dating for one. I want to make love to you

and give you my all, I know at one point I'm going to have to let you go to see

if this love is real but me thinking about the future and doing so is

hard cause I never wanna let you go I love you and always will till the

day I die I will never forget that all my life I was waiting for you.

WHAT A LOAD OF CROCK, I wrote this in 08 and do I feel the same way now NO, I swear yo emotions and feelings be lying to our brains making us believe this crap. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I'm a female, who not only analyzes bull, but believes them. We did have a good eight month relationship, and I did truly care for him, but I didn't  love him, and at the time you couldn't tell me nothing. My head was gone, lol and he was the first sweet guy I ever dated, because before him they were all A-Wholes, but I digress. But what kills me is the lie and trick of being in a relationship, did you not notice that I was planning ahead to get rid of him just to see if he would come back and prove true love, like total bull. I swear the things that female induce themselves with, its like I sat in the bathroom and took a shot of bull crap up my arms to get high of the possibility of love. I was 19 and had no excuses, but I fell for it, I spoke myself into this love business. I guess I wanted love so bad I just went after it, but you cant chase love, it has to find you and flow, and I'm starting to honestly think if you don't fall in love at first glance then it takes you 6-12 months to feel the real thing. Anytime before that is bull, because if we say falling in love happens through getting to know someone then that means that we have to go through a process and that takes time, energy and commitment. Its not just based on feeling anymore but how well you know the person, I don't think you can love someone and not know what their favorite food is, or movie, or even something small insignificant which would be significant to your partner because that shaped the person who you claim to love. Love is more that words, and feelings, its hearing that your partner said for ex " they wish they could go to Paris" and you may or may not have the money but you turn that into a idea for a date, either be creative and turn your room into lil Paris, or take them to places where your from that has a little bit of Paris in it. Its listening to what your partner wants and without jumping on it, surprisingly shock them with their dreams. That's love, and if you haven't done anything that your partner has asked for, or even heard anything of importance that relates to your partner, recalculate your love and make it work, or realize your not in love and stop lying to yourself. I lied to myself enough to know what real and fake love is, look at your relationship and analyze, because that maybe you...

Kiddy love!

Say WHAT, your a "CHEATER"...

I'm not married but I can tell you this, plain and simple and I'm not even gonna beat around the bush, WHEN YOU ARE MARRIED AND YOU ARE A FEMALE, you know what let me go deeper because for you to understand this its gonna take some explaining. OK so situation, your a female and your marriage is falling apart, you've done all you've can to get his attention and its not working. You tried to be more sexier, cook him his favorite meal, clean the house more than often, buy new clothes, new hairstyle, done the works and he is still not getting your attention. Some woman take this as an opportunity to flirt with another man just to get her man's/husband's attention and if that doesn't work it can turn into cheating. Now cheating is a well thought out process when it comes to a female, were not wired like male to just get up and sex the hottest thing in a skirt, no we have feeling and most of the time we get our feelings involved. There are however some woman who can just have casual sex for her pleasure and keep it moving, but were talking about females in a relationship. So you start flirting with other men in front of him, he doesn't notice and you feel some way, either you flirted and it wasn't reciprocated or it was and he still didn't notice or don't care. Now your panicking because you realize the spunk, the flame the fire is gone. so you develop a friend (most time its a male) from work, or at the gym or even at your church, you talk to them about your situation, and HE IS SINGLE, so he lends a friendly ear to your situation. In the mean while he could be A- plotting a way so that he can  move in, which will be easy cause you gave him the que with the whole, I need relationship advice or someone to talk to when in fact that's what female friends are for, even if your trying to get a male prospective you get it from a family member or someone that isn't single. B- Men and female cant be just friends, there is always a guilty party who has some type of feelings for the other person unless there is a gay person in the mix, or the either or both parties are deeply in love. C-an ect of scenario's that I cant think of cause its a thin line. So as a woman you steer clear of the trying to get the husband/boyfriend jealous cause it always most likely gets thrown in your face. Especially if you have a psycho boyfriend who wants to kill anyone that looks or even touches their girlfriend, i call them boyfriend stalkers lol, their your boyfriend but they watch your every movement and will fight or get psycho at anytime anywhere no matter who. Lets face it, one a woman get emotionally attached to someone else who isn't their mate then you start really playing with fire, and your not wearing a firefighter suit on, so if I were you, I would slide down that pole and get out of that situation if your in one, its better to get a first degree burn, than a sixth one.

SO REPEAT AFTER ME, I WILL NOT TRY AND GET MY PARTNER JEALOUS BECAUSE IT WILL ONLY MAKE THINGS WORSE, I WILL TRY OTHER CREATIVE METHODS TO GET HIS ATTENTION.

As well as you can get a "friend" and when he shows interest dump your mate and move on, this advice does not apply to married couples. To the Married, I suggest you find the flame again, and learn new tricks, spice it up, never be boring, no matter how old, try something new, and that does not apply to swinging or adding a extra party to your bedroom, maybe a toy or new move, or new place just improvise. Most couples that are married and have alot of issues don't have sex, and its so common, and so obvious get the sex back before its too late. LADIES HANDLE YOUR IN THE BEDROOM, DON'T BE SHY, TAKE CONTROL, they love that.

Looks aren't Everthing

I hate the fact that this whole time, this whole freakin time I sincerely thought that looks were important, and for me it made things worse because I thought i was ugly, well not ugly but not pretty enough. I mean I am like the most insecure person I know, and that makes me feel like dirt but that's life you know. My point is, looks aren't everything, like take for instance the guy of my dreams, someone i have liked since i was a kid, is dating this chic that's not as, lets say not as good looking as him, or as good looking as he can get. And finding this information out made me feel sad, annoyed, upset, almost close to depressed. This whole time I thought if I looked good, he would notice me, if i was attractive he would want me, or maybe I would look as pretty as those girls he has dated or his friends. But now I don't know what to think or how to feel, I mean I know there's somebody for everybody but I really believed with all my heart he was the one for me. Now what, now since I'm a christian i have to wait for God to send me someone, like I'm inpatient and these are the facts. Not only that but I have so many other issues in my life, and I thought with someone by my side I could handle them. But I guess I don't need a man I only need God.

I wrote this post last week and didn't post it or edit it, its been a week and i realized that I didn't like him as much as i thought because I'm over it. It just funny how you can trust emotions at all, they fool and mislead you all the time. Now I feel like I wanna be single and I wanna do thing by myself, ugly or not. I feel if i get a guy and that's if, he has to like me for me, all of me and my insecurities. I am who I am, and look how I do for a reason. ex.There is this lady in church and she isn't as good looking but her husband is gorgeous and so are the kids, and with my human eye i wonder how did he fall for her, and then I look at the facts, she is intelligent, funny, and as down to earth as they come. Then it hit me, the older I get the more I realize LOOKS AREN'T EVERYTHING, and when you realize that you stop trying as hard and you live and let God. So from now on I'm going to just live, if there is a guy for me he will be there when he is suppose to, in the mean time I'm deffinately gonna just do me.