Phase 2 pt2 (Keeping each other Interested)

Alright now this is for the chick who moves fast in relationships yea! You know who, guilty as
charged. I dated someone for about 4 months and in my mind it seemed like a year...Anyway you can call me or people like me a 16-20 weeker (i.e that's the longest they can hold a relationship) and FYI, as I have said in my past blogs, I am the walker; "the one who walks away". BTW, I am not proud , but that was in my past life.

Any who - things that make relationships go stale is seeing each other everyday which is a NO-GO; you want your partner to miss your face and your presence. Therefore, moving in together in the first 6-12 months is also a NO-GO. Maybe after 3 years when you see that he/she is devoted to you 100% and you see marriage and kids in your future then; but take your time. So if you are a 16-20 "weeker" you should try a hobby or taking up more hrs at work to prolong the relationship. Also, remember to go out from time to time; staying in can also get stale.

Most men are lazy and don't know how to have fun; so that's when manipulation comes into play. Ladies you can use your facial expressions to show sadness and get what you want. You don't always have to resort to sex; there is so much more to us than that. Basically make known that no favors will be given on their behalf because of their selfishness. No matter what; take a stand cause that's where their lack of compromise comes back into play and they should be punished. You can also act like you don't care and hint that you will take someone else instead; just don't tell what's the sex of the other individual. Men love to jump to conclusion and will automatically think it will be a male. This is depending on the relationship and how good or bad it is. For instance, if your man is suspect; then this will not work because he will jump to conclusion and use this as an opportunity to go out with another female. But, if he loves you, he will get jealous and make moves to please you and ease his conscience. If he plays the (I'm not the jealous type card) then you can call his bluff and gather your things to leave and make moves. Again, if he does love you he will just give in because he sees that you are serious. This will work, only if you know your partner.

See! another reason why relationships fail is because people fail to see what is before them. You have to be able to walk into a relationship with your eyes open and know what you want going into. Most people cant do that; they are easily distracted by the person's looks, or if the relationship started out perfect; they are just shocked that it even worked out and are pleased no matter what the person does. Some people especially females tend to look past the bad and see the good even if the good in the relationship is little to none.

Insecurity also plays a big role in relationships and the lack their-of. People don't realize its not what you want; but what you need. People also don't take in account their past experiences and learn from them. You cant date the same type of people over and over again, and not realize that the pattern is not working. If you had bad experiences with this one type of personality; even if that's what you are attracted to; you have to learn to adjust your like and dislikes and make it work for you. It has to be good for you and has to better you. You should grow and learn from this person; not go backwards, but forwards. So for your relationship to work: adjust your likes and make it work for you because in the end it can damage you.

Basically don't date someone like your ex! unless you handle the situation differently. For instance; if your ex in a situation would take things out of hand; and you present girlfriend ends up in the same situation and deals with it entirely different in a good way then I can see it working. But don't date someone that has your ex's bad habits or history. It will repeat itself. So basically start to think about yourself first; then think about the duds you have experienced in the past; learn from them and in your next selection get to know them as friends. See if this will better you in the future and if it could work. THIS IS ONLY FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE READY TO SETTLE DOWN AND NOT WASTE TIME. If your just in the dating scene and having fun do your thing, and always remember wear protection over your heart and over his Johnson =)

Phase 3 (The Sex)

Hmm...well this was gonna come up sooner or later so i figured lets get it out there once and for all, Now I'm no Virgin and i am proud to admit it, lets face it who really is now-a-days (and no I'm not advocating sex) I can honestly say I wish I was still one, yea its fun and then you have to go to the clinic and make sure that all that fun you were having was safe and protected. Long lines, long waits, waiting for results, smh...NOT FUN, so if you are under the age of 18 and reading this and still a virgin STAY ONE, cause the consequences are unpleasant, I have seen some friends go through some scary situations and it wasn't pretty. Now stop reading and go watch cartoons, back to the grown folks. Any who back to the topic at hand, SEX, so females now your guy and you have sex maybe 3-5 times a week depending on how handsome he is, how freaky you are, and if your even attracted to him anymore (this is for girls who has been in long meaningless relationship and is only there for his cash) it happens, any who i believe in honesty, sexual honesty and most relationships lacks this. Females and Males need to be more honest in their relationship, for instance females if he lacks size, length, width, drive, rhythm, stamina, and males is she cant ride, runs to much, grunts, digs to hard in your back, lifeless, motionless etc.. Sadly these are regular issues that most relationships have and people are too scared to talk about it, so imagine the serious stuff like smells, tastes, looks, burning, the gross stuff that may or may not happen and yet people are so afraid of talking about the normal well what about the Abnormal. These are issues that we need to tackle and stop hiding from, Sexual honesty can help and possibly prevent STDS, breakups, and emotional sexual awkwardness...yikes. So learn from this the next time your horny and in a relationship and its the first time, before just getting to it, talk about what you like from what you don't like, do it (protected) and then take mental notes of what went wrong and discuss it, trust its better to know than to find out after you broke up and end up in a heated argument and have the other person throw it in your face, I think were a bit mature now and don't have to resort to childlike behavior. And also I cannot stress enough Protection, STD's are no joke and can happen at any time, not to mention AIDS yikes X10.

Phase 2 (Keeping each other Interested)

Alright, so now that you have learned about this compromise concept, If your like me then after awhile your gonna get bored, lets face if your partner has a hobby its probably about one or two things, and no-one ever really changes their hobby, so basically it stays the same, soo now that you are accustomed to what your partner enjoys to do your like (ok i get it, now what!) See after you went out a few times, ate at a couple restaurants, saw a couple of movies, and took a tour of your partners house a few times, basically did the whole dating scene thing then what????. This is where creativity comes into play, now theres many things to do especially in NYC, wine tastings, art galleries, museums, going baseball/basketball/soccer/football etc.. games, and there's over 5 different parks in the city that offer a wide variety of activities. Theres also over 100 different restaurants in NYC, so you have to have an open mind to have fun and not get bored. Now lets not forget if your broke in NYC there's many sites that offer free activities in NYC for instance http://www.freeinnyc.net/category/events http://gonyc.about.com/cs/freestuff/a/aa040902a.htm
http://www.nycgo.com/?event=view.article&id=225359 these are just to name a few, but this will help and is also fun even if your not broke. I definitely took part in a few activities off the broke list last year with my ex all summer and had a awesome time, and don't forget (Coney Island) it is most fun you will ever have. You have to learn to switch it up and change the routine, rotate every 4 months and do random things to please your partner, because everyone gets tired of the same things in relationships so learn new trates guys, even if that means taking up art.

Introduction The Art of Staying Together! (phase 1)

Relationships....well first off let me start of and Introduce myself, my Name is Carolyn but you can call me Lyn, I am 21 years old and have been through many relationships like yourself, or if your the shy long term relationship type then you have probably only seen about 2-3 depending on age. I am licensed in giving relationship advice because I say I am, I have many friends and have been called the female Dr Phil and Montel Jordan, and every decent relationship guru out there. People say I am too young to know this much, but its about paying close attention to peoples personalities, and it is just in my nature to do so. I take on this title and wear it proudly because I am almost never wrong. I love giving advice and my opinions are always welcomed, so if you feel I just "think" I know what I am talking about, challenge me and be amazed. I have many males friends and an open mind, I listen when they speak and read into their psyche. I have always paid close attention to body language, facial expressions,different tones and pitches in voices and the responses they give. Now that I gave you my resume, lets get started on the topic at hand, Staying together Phase 1... First I have been the one to walk away in almost all my relationships. See my personality is the type that gets bored easily, If I'm not fully entertained and given the proper amount of attention I am the first to walk away. THIS BEHAVIOR IS WRONG, I have learned in the past that you have to compromise and yes you have been told this before, but people still don't understand what that means, Compromise means letting one's self go and giving into the other just to please their partner, so in layman terms you have to let go and do things you don't feel like doing at times. So yes ladies that means watching the game, or your man play Madden and feeding him nachos, but don't think this doesn't go both ways men, for you this means taking trips to Sephora, and walking in the park, don't forget washing your girls hair etc. These are things that you start out doing just because you like your significant partner, and then it turns into things you enjoy because you love them. This is the most important step in the relationship, this can make or break the bond. Learning new hobbies, and doing what your partner loves to do, and appreciating them because this pleases your partner in the first place. This is just Phase 1 of getting to know your partner and keeping the relationship afloat!