How I lost love...pt1

I thought I needed a relationship to be inspired to write something down, I mean i haven't wrote a post in months and if you asked me what I've done boy i can tell you a boat load of stories, about my experiences. The clubs, parties, rooftop parties, exclusive events, private dinners, dates, and outings, were endless i went out almost every night, i would work on weekends and party right after, i was enjoying life, getting out having fun, doing me living my own life making my own decisions, buying what i wanted, dressing scandalous, feeling sexy in every sense of the word, but i wasn't happy. I can now tell you why i was sad, because i am no longer depressed, i went through the worst stage of my life and its because of a young man named (well lets call him) Mr Brown, my ex boyfriend, we went out for a month, literally the shortest relationship ever, I'm ashamed of myself and how i acted afterwards, you would thought we dated for years. But when you read my story you will understand why.

So it all started when i joined a company (lets call it) Harvest, I have been wanting to try out real estate for some time now and this was my way in, they allowed me to work without a license to get some "experience" under my belt and of course i was grateful, but still it's a commissioned base job, which means i had to bust my ass to get paid. So i worked and i got my friend in to work with me, we went through training and i was so optimistic about it, i thought i was gonna sell and make so much money, i thought it was easy. My mother had been in real estate for almost 10 yrs and i have helped her in the past with open houses, clerical work and such. My resume is strictly sales, every job i had dealt with included retail work, or customer service. So training went fine, but me being who i am which is my fathers daughter even though i ha vent spent more than 5 days with the man after he and my mom split when i was 3 because of his cheating ways, typical man, I loved eye candy and one of the guys that trained with us was kinda cute, not my type at all, he was muscly, kinda baby bulky type and had big hands and big teeth you know the type, (a chick a Jersey shore girl would love) anyways I flirted, cause its in my nature to do so, we spoke or exchanged words a few times but it wasn't going anywhere, besides i was dealing with this guy that lived around my way. Get this he was cute, NOT smart, but studying to be an engineer, total "shaking my head moment". Anyways so were in training and one of the mangers comes in and bad mouths this kid who is like 20 and makes as much money as he does, and he's like if he can do it you can, basically this kid was a top producer and was doing well. So the kid comes in and guess who no other but Mr Brown himself, now I gave him 1 look and ain't pay him any mind, but i thought he was cute. Now my home girl is like yo get that and bring him to church he's a good catch, making good money, smart, and got good hair lol (typical Jamaican) so anyways I'm like yea he a good look but blah lets get back to making this money. So things was going blah yaddah yaddah yaddah, and we ain't make jack, so were like "yo we running around showing apartments and we ain't benefiting from this, this is wack lets get a REAL job and keep it pushing". Our attitudes changed when we saw what the business had to offer, basically if you ain't got your heart in in you would walk away, because this type of sales was completely different, selling clothes, food, sure that's easy, tryna to sell an apartment a place someone is going to live in for the next year or so, not that easy. So we quit, bounced and dipped out. One day I'm on facebook and i stumbled upon Harvest on facebook so i joined and i saw Mr browns profile, it was private and i left it at that. Next day i get a request from him and I'm a lil hype not gonna front, I'm like aoowww he caught the bait, (boy am i a good fisher, ehhh we'll see) so he hits me up on facebook chat and starts talking to me like "aye ain't you that black chick that use to work at Harvest" I'm like "lol yea i quit i wasn't making money therefore wasting my time" so he hits me with the "c'mon black people never last here i think you should give it another try if you need help I'll help you personally" so in my head I'm like is he coming on to me and I'm like "okkk we will see" so he goes "come in to work tomorrow at the meeting and we can start there" so I'm like" well i ain't got nothing better else to do why not" so in my head I'm like this guy makes money off this business and if he can help me do the same imma take full advantage of the opportunity, and see what he's really about. So i go, we meet up early in the morning and i feel like a intern on her first day of work, he walked ahead of me and spoke the whole time, I'm surprised i didn't have a note book and took notes the way he dictated to me and i just sat there and listened eager to learn from this kid who was so smart, i envied him and wanted to be just like him only better, i wanted to be his competition, i wanted to beat him and be better than him so he could feel the way i felt. We got to work and i heard the meeting, and we was just so shocked that i even showed up he didn't know what to help me with, so he just told me to do what i know and when ever i needed any advice to ask. So i did so, and got him to help me get my templates sorted out so i could post them on facebook and get business calls so that i could make appointments and at least try harder than i did before. He was right there helping me along the way, the next night we spoke and he made fun of my pictures on facebook, we literally cutt ass on each other for days at a time. That was our thing, he helped me at work and we would cutt on each other during our free time, we had fun, he was really cool. He misjudged me and I him, we spent so much time together and in the time a friendship was born and we bonded. But me being female i was just falling in like with him the whole time, and eventually i knew i would want more. I admired him for being 1 yr younger than me and making it work for him, he told his past, his family history, his faults, his flaws and i him. We had a working relationship and i wanted more, one evening we were coming from work and he saw his friend, he introduced me and his friend flirted with me, while i was flattered i gave off a friendly vibe but his friend could tell i was digging Mr Brown. So we get on the bus and i sit beside his friend, Mr Brown goes "so its like that" so like a stupid school girl hopelessly in love i quickly get up and sit beside Mr Brown, so his friend goes "ohhhhh so you got it like that aiteee" lol so im cheesing like omg smh embarrassment, so were all talking having a friendly conversation, and then another friend gets on the bus and sits beside the other guy, so Mr Brown and i develop our own private conversation, and i swear every time we spoke i got closer and closer to his face, it was like crazy how much attention i gave this boy. Not only that his skin was clean clear and sexy, i was in his grill and he knew it oddd. One day we were having a conversation on the bus on our way home and it was about the masons and the Illuminati and i was just shocked that he knew so much about that stuff and had researched like i did, ( OMG MIND YOU I MISSED THE BIGGEST PART OF THIS STORY SO I'M A BORN AGAIN CHRISTIAN AND HE IS AN ATHEIST) yea (PLOT THICKENS) so were talking and like I'm in his face oddd tryna talk quiet cause that ain't nothing to be talking loud about on the bus, so then his stop comes up and he jumps up like aite deuces and he smirks at me, so I'm going crazy cause the sexual tension is there and the flirting and everything, so i get home (MIND YOU AGAIN WE TALKED EVERY NIGHT) and i call him and we talk and I'm hinting a few things and then i blabbed i couldn't hold my tongue or play the game any more, i just wanted him so bad and i told him i was feeling him, and he was like how he didn't know and he was clueless blah blah blah, but i believed he had an inkling to how i was feeling and was feeling the same ( THE SIGNS WERE THERE HE KNEW). So we spoke about it and the next morning when we were on the train together (WE RODE THE TRAIN TOGETHER EVERY MORNING TO WORK) i was a bit shy and didn't say much cause i put myself out there, and he just told me that he thought i was cute and he just never figured i was into him like that blah blah blah, so we get to work and were working sitting beside each other at the computer and i looked at him, and he gave me this blank look and i grabbed his face and kissed him, (y'all i couldn't help it, he just looked so cute with his glasses and his nerdy face and I'm weak for sexy black nerds) anyways so i caught him by surprise and he smiled (so were in a corner behind a wall and no1 can see us) so he pushed me closer to the wall and kissed me back (y'all his lips was so soft and moist and it was poppin y'all) (hold up lemme bring you to a time when we were on the train and i would stare at his lips and think to myself, he looks like he would have the softest lips but it was chappy and dry lol and terrible, so I use to come at him all the time and tell him he needed blistex, and he would try and front and be like "why you care about my lips" and i would smile and say "because i talk to you everyday and they so dry its the first thing i notice" so after i gave him the lip speech he took my advice after awhile following up to the kiss and that was why the kiss was so amazing because his lips were saved by my advice) anyways so its getting late at work, and everyone is walking out to leave and me and him decide to stay and pretend like we had extra work to do, so we separated to not make it look hott, (and he had the key to open and close the door so we was good) so the people we worked with left and we were talking and...(lets just say one thing led to another)

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